Things That Do Not Please Me

I have been forced to make many posts on R&S naming the things that displease me, only to be deleted.


 Therefore I will list them here, as they come to me.

1. Miracle Whip
2. Salmon patties
3. Vampires (references to them anger me.)
4. Answering "what" and "huh" to my witty posts.
5. When I say cat, you do not say meow! When I say car, you do not say "vroom." Do not respond with the first dullardy thing that pops in your head. This is not m*****f****** free association.
6. Stupidheads will be looked at for 7 seconds. Here is the scripture on Stupidhead treatment: Stupidheads should be dealt with immediately and their punishment should be this: they shall be viley and firmly looked at. They must be looked at long, and they must be looked at hard. Do not say,"Oh, I have gazed upon the stupidhead for three seconds now, that should suffice," Nay! Look not at the stupidhead less than seven seconds, no, not six, nor eight (a donkey shall bite thee!) but seven, and then blink slowly and look away. Do not gaze again upon the stupid head for a long, long moment.
7.  Donkeys do not approve of humidity.
8. Spam is not a valid comestible. 
9. Orange and grey are not a valid color combination.
10. When you think a raisin is a chocolate chip, and then find out you are mistaken. This is extremely disappointing.
11. Redhots will not be tolerated. (the hotdog, not the candy)
12. Erroneous use of apostrophes.
13. Bears!
14. Monkey cards
15. Drugs are bad, mmkay? <----- saying this as a response to any clever whimsicality you have no pleasant retort to. 
16. Nasty public restrooms
17. When mother parks outside of the wheelable cart area and we have to drag/carry the cart to the car because the wheels don't work.
18. Being awakened from a nap to do something someone ELSE could have quickly done THEIR SELF.
19. When people ask brain-damaged questions like, "What are you doing, bringing that thing?" to which the answer is obvious, "Bringing that thing!"
20. People who do not understand how lining up works. 
21. Waiting.
22. Yardwork.
23. Eagle, Bear, and Wolf sweatshirts